Death at 24 Hour Fitness!

As the process of ridding myself of Karate Man continues, Big Daddy decided he would come to my aid. His thought was that I should rejoin a gym and take out all of my anger and frustration on an elliptical machine. Karate Man had cancelled my gym membership and I hadn't really had any desire to rejoin the downtown YMCA.

Big Daddy suggested the downtown 24 Hour Fitness and he offered to pay for the membership (what a sweetheart!). I go last week to finalize the paperwork and find out about the tragedy that has struck Big Daddy....apparently there had been the recent death of his wife! I asked the membership coordinator what her name was, and lo and behold, it was the girl that he dated a while back and still runs into on occasion. We were just talking about her the night before. I agreed that it was a horrible death and that he was still coping with the aftermath, completely playing along with this obviously very untrue story Big Daddy had concocted. The coordinator commented that this was the first death like that he was aware of, but that they had made the necessary changes in the computer system.

Apparently, 24 Hour has a corporate policy that once a name is added under your account, no other spouses/significant others can be added. That includes after a divorce too. So, when they told him he could not remove her name, he faked a story about a tragic car wreck in which she died and even became tearful on the phone. They have no problems with removal secondary to death. Under his account was a little blurb that commented on the death and allowed for addition of a new name. Ex-girlfriend is now "dead" in the 24 Hour computer system, which will probably limit her getting a membership in the future.

And of course you know what this means...now my name is on the account! I have to hand it to Big Daddy for being creative under pressure. I went home and called him immediately and commended him on his excellent use of bullshit. His comment was, "Poor ex-girlfriend. She died at 24 Hour Fitness!" As for me, well I'll be at the gym most days now, sweating on the elliptical machine, so stop by and say hello.